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• His last Google search was

Comment: "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"

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• I hope no one judges me

Comment: for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...

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• I wish facebook had a fuck off button.

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• and then we all passionately sang

Comment: "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass

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• I'm so proud of us for not dying.

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• You are the human incarnation

Comment: of a drinking problem

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• I will take a ruler to your dick

Comment: so help me god

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